It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood...

"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood
A beautiful day for a neighbor
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?"
~Fred Rogers

We had gotten to know each other quite a bit over the last few months through our blogs, e-mails and online conversations. We had exchanged pictures. In fact we had gotten to know each other very intimately through the electronic medium, so much so that you had started to wonder what my voice might sound like or how it might feel if we really ever did have the opportunity to do all those things we fantasized about. We imagined each other to be the perfect lovers. We knew each others sexual likes, dislikes, and freaky little secrets. There was no doubt in your mind that I could easily bring you to a mind blowing orgasm with all the things you had told me. Then suddenly, startlingly it wasn't so much of a game any longer and you weren't sure what to do. In the past when you had developed online "friendships" you had been so careful to protect your real, personal information. Then last night online, over a glass of wine, or two, ok it was a long night, maybe three, you had admitted to me what city you lived in. And I had shared that same information with you. We both thought it would be harmless. Until our answers were the same. Now it could be real if we wanted it to be. But you had briefly freaked out a little and clicked right out of the IM conversation.

It was a typical Monday morning. Getting ready for work. Standing in front of the mirror brushing out your hair. Running through your schedule in your mind. Wondering where the weekend went. Dreading the meeting today. Then suddenly your doorbell rang. You weren't expecting anyone this early, but occasionally your crazy old neighbor came over to ask if you had seen her cat or taken her morning paper again. "It was one time, jeez, get over it lady. I gave it back," you thought to yourself as you walked to the door. Feeling annoyed before you even reached the door you practically fling it open and your breath catches in your throat. Staring back at you are my blue eyes and the smile you never thought you'd see in person. "Well hello neighbor! Mind if I borrow a cup of sugar?" My mouth and my body are in motion at the same time. Before you can respond I step forward and take your face in my hands, placing my lips upon yours, my tongue finds yours. You're shocked and taken aback for a moment, but I can feel you soften and begin to kiss me back. You pull back from my kiss for a moment, "Get in here before we're seen," you say as you pull me in the door by the hand.

As soon as the door shuts behind us I pull you to me with one hand around your waist. My mouth covers yours and this time there is no resistance, and in fact I find you leaning into me, pressing your body against mine, pinning me against the door. My other hand finds the tie to your robe and tugs enough to open it. You step back, your eyes never leaving mine and you allow your robe to fall to the floor. With your hands on my hips you lower yourself to your knees in front of me and deftly open my jeans. You hand moves to my cock, already hard and you squeeze it through my boxers, almost as if you're testing it. I pull my shirt off over my head and I feel you pull my boxers down my legs. Now your warm, soft hand takes me firmly and you lower your soft, supple, beautiful pink lips to the head of my cock. Your tongue flickers out to lap up the drop of pre-cum rolling down the head. My hands hold youur head, stroking your soft hair as I suddenly feel a hot, wet line being traced up my shaft by your tongue. And then the embrace of your mouth engulfing my sensitive swollen head. I lower my hands from your head to your shoulders and begin to massage them as I watch your beautiful face so near my cock. I thrill at the sight and feel of my aroused member in your mouth. There's just something so sensous and beautiful about a woman's face, and to see you so near to my cock and to feel the pleasure your lips seem to be drawing from me I feel like I could get lost in this moment. But I want you so many more ways, I want to hear and taste and touch and feel you. Three months of online foreplay have brought me to your door and I want this to be everything we've fantasized about together.

I take you by the shoulders and lift you. If that had gone on any longer I might have cum in your mouth. As much as I want that, this isn't the time yet. Without a word you take my hand and lead me to the bedroom where I pick you up and literally toss you onto the bed. I quickly lay on top of you, my weight holding you down as my tongue pushes into your mouth. My hands hold your outstretched arms above your head. As I kiss you, you can feel the weight of my body, my warm skin against yours, my cock, thick and hot against your pussy. I kiss your face, then your ear, then down your neck. You sigh in disappointment as I lift my cock away from your wet, wanting little slit. But you gasp again as my lips find your nipples and my fingers move down your body to find an oasis, with them inside it swells and I can feel you tighten your legs around my hand. My lips continue to tease, and lick and suck your nipples switching sides as my fingers touch you in every way you can imagine.

As the intensity of my lips and fingers continue to increase I can feel your hips begin to move with me, your moans getting louder. I know it's almost time. I kiss my way down your body and remove my fingers and lick them clean as you watch. Then mouth mouth is on your pussy, licking and lapping and sucking. My tongue alternately fucking you and teasing your clit. My hands cupping your ass, tilting you up to my mouth. I raise my head and use my hands to roll you over and I pull your ass up so that your on your knees. Kneeling behind you I slide my cock between your wet pussy lips. Not entering you, just sliding up and back. the hot, swollen head of my cock just reaching your clit. Then in one quick, smooth motion I pull back and enter you. You can feel my full, thickness pushing into you and your pussy takes me, slowly at first and then I feel the tension release and I slide in to the hilt. My hands on your I pull you to me, meeting my thrust. You rise up onto your hands and look over your shoulder to watch me. You love to watch as I look down at your beautiful ass, watching myself enter you. I can't bear the heat and the slick wetness and I increase my pace, Now I'm just holding on and riding your rocking hips. I see one of your hands disappear to slide down your belly and tease your clit as you enjoy the feel of me in and out, the ridge of my head hitting that spot just inside. And then as you let out a gasp, my body stiffens and my fingers dig into your hips as UI slam hard into you one more time. I can feel the explosion inside you as you rock back over and over slamming your ass into me, riding my cock as I cum. Now I see, and feel and hear your orgasm coming as you fuck faster and faster and then your body freezes for a moment and your breath catches. Then you collapse forward, legs akimbo as I kneel between them, the last of my cum dripping off my cock onto your open ass. As you lift yourself up to your elbows and look back at me once again I say, "Welcome to the neighborhood."

The Guy Code of Conduct: Part 1

Men are complicated beings. So complicated in fact, that it's entirely possible that we are a completely different species than women, evolved from alien beings who once colonized the planet. I'm pretty sure that those aliens came here in search of women. We are such complicated beings that we've established an extensive set of rules by which to lead our lives. This set of rules is titled The Guy Code of Conduct. The Code was first begun in prehistoric times where it was actually found carved into two stone tablets that were discovered in a cave in France. I believe that the author of the rules was some guy named Adam. Since that time The Code has been disseminated throughout the world, formalized and revised as our species has evolved. The Code continues to evolve to this day even if men have not.
Men have developed a complex series of activities, referred to in most cultures as sporting events, as a way to have meetings regarding The Code without arousing the suspicion of the female species. In fact Monday Night Football was invented just as an excuse for our meetings during which we revise, discuss and otherwise find ways to skirt our own rules. The Super Bowl is just a cover for our big annual conference. Remember the whole feeding Christians to the lions get togethers at the Coliseum in ancient Rome? Just a big Guy Meeting. Amish barn raisings? Same thing. If Amish guys are like regular guys, I'm betting they're out behind the barn smoking pipes and saying things like, "Ezekiel, I hear thee raised your barn with a trollop from the big city. Dude, that is ballsy with a capital B. Way to go! Up high! (high fives all around)
None of these rules have ever been revealed publicly. What I am about to do here may get me kicked out of the club. One of the rules is that we are never to explain the rules to women. There is one caveat to that rule. There is one rule that supersedes every other rule in The Guy Code of Conduct:

Rule 1. "You can break any rule in The Code or in any country in the world, if you are trying to score with a chick." Yes, it actually says "chick" in our book. Don't blame me, I didn't write it. Now I'm skirting the rules here because of course I’m too sensitive and intellectual to ever use my writing to hit on women. I would never corrupt my art in that way. Men the world over respect each other's need to sometimes break the laws of their country in order to pursue a women whom we desire. Why do you think Clarence Thomas was elected to the Supreme Court despite the allegations of sexual harassment at a former job? In our meeting we did severely reprimand him for the harassment and he was given lessons on how to talk to women respectfully. We didn't want him to go around embarrassing us like that. Bill Clinton got away with the whole Monica Lewinsky thing didn't he? Granted, there's no accounting for taste. No doubt I could go on and on listing crimes that men have allowed other men to get away with simply because the end goal was pursuing a woman.

Rule 2."Never explain the rules to women. If they understood us they might enslave us. Until they explain their rules to us, we're not explaining ourselves to them. For exceptions to rule number 2, see rule number 1."

This is the first in a series of articles revealing The Code. I am revealing these at great personal risk in hopes of fostering greater understanding and improving the lines of communication between men and women. And if that helps a few guys get laid, then so be it.

The Bet

It started innocently enough. A few smirking, teasing jokes about masturbation while at dinner. We have a good rapport and are comfortable enough with each other that there isn't much out of bounds when we get in a flirty,teasing mood. Then came the bet. A disagreement over who sang the song playing at the restaurant. Eventually, grudgingly I had to admit you were right. "Well, I won the bet. What do I win?" you said. "Whatever you want," I said, "I'm yours for the night." With a sly smile you replied, "I'll think about it." Dinner, a few glasses of wine, and more conversation about more mundane things and I had forgotten about 'the bet.' But you didn't. As soon as we got back to the apartment, you, perhaps with a little extra courage borrowed from the wine said, "Well, it's time to pay up buddy boy." I wasn't too worried. I trusted you, but I was a little suspicious of that mischievous look on your face.

You showed me to your bedroom and said, "You admitted that you masturbate, I want to see it. I want to see you stroke your cock for me. I want to see you cum without me even touching you." I had never had anyone watch me before and I was a little nervous, or embarrassed at the idea, but I'm a good sport and you had won the bet. "Ok, I'll do it, but on one condition. I want you to strip down to your bra and panties. You've got to give me something to look at." You agreed readily enough. As you strippped down and sat down in the small, plush chair in the corner of your room I stripped down to my boxers. As you watched me I reached down and lay my palm flat against my cock and began to slowly slide it up and down over the material of my boxers. "C'mon, I want to see it," you say. "Don't worry, you will, just wait." As I caress my cock I can feel how aroused I'm getting. Not because of my touch, but because of your eyes. I've never had this feeling. Never been watched like this. It's not embarrassing, it's very arousing, and soon my cock is as hard and hot as it's ever been, all without your touch.

I can't bear the hindrance of my boxers any longer and I push them off my hips and they fall to the floor. Without a word you look at my fully engorged cock appreciatively and recline in the chair, opening your legs seductively to me. I step forward, between your feet. I want to be close. I want to feel your eyes on my cock. I want to watch you watching me. I reach down again and this time I feel the warmth of my hand as I again just allow my flat palm to ride up and down my cock. The pre-cum dripping down my muscular rod makes it slick. I close my fist around the base, wrapping my fingers around my cock firmly. I begin to stroke up and down, not with friction but by moving the tight skin on my cock. It feels like a massage as my fingers pass over the full, hot veins. Your eyes watch, never looking at me, only at my hand, my cock that I'm stroking for you. Unconsciously you throw one leg over the arm of the chair and your hand drops to your lap. Your fingers just sort of playing with, teasing, tracing the edge of your panties. You're getting wet and I know it, but I can't touch you. You want to see me cum. I want to cum like this now. I want to cum just looking at you, knowing that you get me this aroused.

My tempo increasing, fucking my own fist. My cock just two feet from you. Your eyes boring into me, stroking and caressing me without a touch. My other hand reaches down and takes my balls in my hand. I take another step forward and put one foot up on the side of the chair. My cock now a foot from your face, your eyes, your lips, which you lick at just that moment. "God I want to cum, " I think, but I know it's too soon. I want more. More of this sweet, sexy torture. I look down from your face to see that the hand in your lap is moving up and down over your panties, and I see your juices beginning to soak through. I'm stroking faster. "Take off your bra," I say, 'I want to see your tits. Please." You pause for a moment considering my request and you quickly oblige, revealing your beautiful breasts and your pink, hard little nipples. How I want to kiss them and suck hard on those nipples while I stroke myself. Your hand falls back into your lap and this time a finger slips into the top of your panties and I see you shudder with pleasure ever so slightly as you touch your clit.

I continue to stroke, to fuck my fist, inches from your face, your lips, but it's your eyes that arouse me. Seeing them mesmerized, staring, stroking my cock without a word or a touch. You lay your head back and breathe deeply, your breasts rising towards me ever so briefly. Your fingers working your clit faster, almost in time with my strokes. You can see the head of my cock, glistening, full, close to you. "Cum," you breathe to me, "cum, I want to see it." I bend my knees ever so slightly, lower my cock as I stroke, up and down. My cock now closer to your breasts. Your fingers working your tender clit. you feel the pleasure emanating from your clit outward, starting to consume your whole body. It feels as if every inch of your skin has just become warm. I stroke my cock, harder, faster, closer to your body. I want so badly to grab you and just fuck you, to fill you with my cum, but I know that you want to see it. You want to see me cum for you, by just looking at you. I want that too. I want you to know that you're so sexy I can cum just looking at you, and I'm almost there. I fuck my fist, the back of my hand brushes against one of your firm little nipples and it feels like lightning has struck you there, electricity shooting through your aroused body from that brief touch. I lower my cock and use the head to smear some of my slippery, clear pre-cum on both your nipples. Suddenly I feel it. My back arches and I brace myself on the arm of the chair with one hand. The other hand holding my cock in front of you, stroking, teasing, touching. I feel my cock pulsing and I see your eyes widen in anticipation. I feel the heat of your eyes on my cock and I cum. My white cum bursting from me in jets, painting lines of pearl across your chest. Gush after gush flows from me. I've never cum this hard. I watch it too now, loving the sight of my cock exploding with cum upon your tits. Your fingers still working your pussy. One plunging inside you, your thumb on your clit. I know you need to cum now. I kneel down between your legs and literally tear your panties from you and bury my face in your sopping wet, pussy. Licking, lapping, sucking everywhere until I feel your body go tense for a moment and you clutch my head between your legs. Your sweet, delicious juices just pour from you as you cum and I love the taste of you as your body tenses and relaxes over and over as your orgasm flows through you rising and falling like the waves on a beach. Finally when you do relax and exhale I pull my mouth back and look up at you, "Next bet I win, you are in serious trouble."

The Man in the Mirror

After your hot shower, in your robe you stand before the full length mirror on your closet brushing out your hair. A hundred thoughts running through your head. It's Monday and you're dreading the thought of work. Are there enough groceries in the fridge? How soon until you get paid? And then you feel my hands around your waist and my lips softly kissing your neck. You lay your head back to enjoy a moment of relaxing affection, happy to push aside the minutae running through your head.

My hands pull the tie on your robe and it opens easily. I don't stop kissing as I push the robe off your shoulders and it drops to the floor around your feet. My body once again presses up against yours, but now you thrill at the feel of my skin against your back, my hard, warm cock against the cleft of your ass. One of my hands slides up your belly to cup your breasts, still warm and supple from the long relaxing shower. My other begins to slip downwards, but ever so slowly and tenderly, barely touching you. The fingers of my other hand tease and stroke your nipples as you begin to press your buttocks back against my cock, loving the feeling of it pushing further into your flesh. You can feel the head is slightly slippery against you and a drop of my pre-cum creeping between your cheeks crawling down, creeping into your puckered little hole.

You look into the mirror and meet my eyes in the reflection. You can see my hands exploring your body. Nipples being softly stroked, pink and erect. My other hand gently curves over your pussy not penetrating, but just cupping, holding it. The heel of my hand pressing in a little against your pubic mound, stimulating your clit ever so slightly.

Your hands are thrown back, around the back of my head as I kiss your neck and shoulders. I'm watching you in the mirror as I slowly arouse your body. My fingers begin to part your lips, which are now becoming slick. I slide them up and down as your body opens to me. You begin to grind your ass against my now rock hard, hot swollen member. It is now that I begin to feel as if I may lose myself in the pleasure of the feel of your body. I could cum like this, just feeling you fuck my cock with your ass. I want to lean back, holding your hips as you grind into me, but not yet. You continue to grind against me in time with my fingers working your pussy. Up and down, up and down, Your pussy and ass are slick and slippery with the juices from our bodies.

Our eyes meet in the mirror again and you watch as my hands explore and stimulate your body. As we stare into each others eyes, reveling in the pleasure, your hands leave my neck and slide down to cover mine. My fingers teasing your nipple are joined by your soft fingers teasing and stroking the other nipple. Your other hands slides down my forearm to my hand, your fingers just resting, riding atop my own. Your hips move, sliding against my hard cock that is driven by my own thrusts againsts you. You smile and lick your lips as we continue to watch ourselves in the mirror. You've never seen your body like this when it's aroused, when it's being used for my pleasure. You want more. Your hand guides my hand on your pussy. Sliding it upward, pulling, guiding my finger to your clit. You move my finger in a slow, sensual little circle, teasing, stimulating your firm little nub. I can feel the slippery juices begin to flow from you and in the mirror I can see a drop sliding down the inside of your thigh. Then you guide my finger again, to your open, wanting pussy and you push it in. Taking the hint I plunge my finger into your pussy, Sliding it in and out, slowly at first. Then I pull my finger out and as our eyes meet again in the reflection I lift it to my lips, to taste you. "Lean forward, " I whisper in your ear.

You do as I say, placing your hands against the closet door on either side of the mirror. My hands upon your hips, not hard or urgently at first, you feel my cock slide between your legs. You open your stance a bit, affording me better access to your sweet, wet little hole. I reach down and guide my hard cock into you, slowly, I can feel the heat and pressure enveloping my sensitive aroused muscle. Then I grasp your hips firmly and pull myself into you, hard and fast and to the hilt. I slowly recede and then slam into you again. You brace yourself against the mirror and I can see on your face that your ready for more. I slam into you, over and over, harder, faster, increasing the speed and ferocity. You brace yourself, my thrusts jarring your body. In the mirror I can see that little look on your face, where you lift the edge of one lip and bite down on your lower lip, that tells me it's coming. You feel the ridge of my cock head teasing that spot just inside the roof of your pussy, stroking it, touching it just right. The heat begions to grow and spread through your body. You pussy is the apex as the waves roll through you like thunder clouds rumbling in the distance and then it happens. My nails dig into you as I thrust harder and faster and the tidal wave crashes over and through your body as the hot jets of my cum burst into you and for a moment again, our eyes meet in the mirror.

The Everyday Oscars

Well, it's happened again. I was passed over. Not a single Oscar nomination. The whole process is completely biased against people like me. Ok, I know that there aren't really other people like me, but that does not excuse the Hollywood establishments prejudice against me. The Oscars have been handed out longer than I've been alive, but not once have I been awarded a gold, phallic statuette. Just because I'm not some kiss-ass Hollywood insider who's made a movie in the past year they completely overlook my accomplishments! It is because of this snub that I refuse to attend the awards ceremony.

I do have Oscar-worthy acting talent. So do many of you. Just because our skills don't appear on the big screen doesn't mean our talents should go unappreciated! To recognize the acting achievements of everyone like me, I hereby introduce The First Annual Everyday Oscar Awards! I imagine the awards ceremony will go something like this:

MC Phil: The Everyday Oscar for Best Performance in The Workplace goes to...(fumbling with envelope)..Craig Snodgrass for his role in "The Overdue Report!" (video clip begins to roll on the monitor)

Craig: "Yes Mr. Hendricks, I knew that report was due this morning. I was about to forward it to you when I got the call that my grandmother, the woman who raised me after my parents died, was in a car accident."
Mr. Hendricks: "Is that a Hooters napkin sticking out of your pocket?"
Craig: "Yes it is sir. The hospital needed two quarts of my blood for the transfusion. They said I should drink a lot of fluids for the rest of the day. I got a little woozy driving back to the office and I had to pull over."

MC Phil: That always brings a tear to my eye. Next up, the Everyday Oscar for Best Relationship Saving Performance goes to...Heather Stevens for her fantastic performance in "Whose Boxers Are These?" (video clip begins to roll)

Boyfriend: "Heather, I just found these boxer shorts under your side of the bed! They're not mine! Whose are they?!!?"
Heather: Awww! You ruined the surprise! I bought them for you, but I got so turned on at the thought of you in them, that I put them on myself and wore them around for a day. Would you like to see me in them?"
Boyfriend: "Are these your skid marks?"
Heather: "Umm...yeah?"

As you can see this would be a very popular idea.